More People Of Wal-Mart

The folks over there at People of Wal-Mart are definitely earning their keep. Holy crap. And it's amazing that something can be both so scary and yet so funny at the same time! The scary part is that these folks really exist. The funny part is that they're hilarious. (And I've been told from a very reliable source that it is highly likely that the intelligence of any primate in Borneo totally surpasses anything in these photos. I'm going to have to agree with that assessment, even though it is insulting to the primates.)

Sweet Mother of God! It's a life-size muppet! Oh, no. Wait. Snookums is below. Well, you can see how I'd make such a mistake, I'm sure.

Oh, look! It's the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. Only there's no mobile. It's just a guy's hat!
Hookers love cupcakes. Need I say more?

Psst! Someone tell the Hamburglar in drag that this isn't the McDonald's.
OK, I think I speak for everyone here including her ass when I say that those shorts don't fit!

Hmmm. That can't end well. It can't start well, either. Is she growing an extra boob on her back? In case she needs a spare?

Congratulations on being at a store that does sell underwear. That does appear as if it will come in handy for you. However, the points that you would have earned for that move does not make up for all of the points that you lost for walking around like that. My EYES!
It's a pregnant Sasquatch.
It took me a minute to realize what was wrong with this picture. I just thought the woman had a rather sufficient spare tire around her middle. Then it dawned on me that those were her breasts. Breasts should not extend past the navel. Ever. Please make a note.

It's life-size Asian Barbie. How can she help you?

Look, if you can't get your pants all the way on, you can't just wear them anyways! That's not allowed! It's in the rules! You can't just tuck your butt into your pants like it's your shirt! No!

I feel like playing miniature golf for some reason.

"I’m sorry sir, but those Christmas hams put you over the 12 item limit for this line."

Oh, the irony...

Work it, Santa! WORK IT!

Why, that woman's back has it's own set of breasts! It's like she carries around a spare set in case something happens to the ones in the front. She has back boobs. Double D back boobs. Well, that's just wrong.

Clearly, the man below is the love child of Elvis Presley.

Good Lord! It's like Cher in some sort of drag. I know that's not really a very possible scenario, but that's definitely what it looks like.

Look! A flesh-colored fanny pack! Ohhhh...wait a minute. That's not a fanny, that', God....

This guy is like Two-Face, only he's Two-Head. Would you ever know if this guy was coming or going? Would you ever want to? Why is he in the condom section? HE'S getting laid?!! NO way! Do you know when the last time that, never mind. I'm thoroughly depressed now.