Happy Birthday To Me....

All right, this is going to have to suffice for today, as I am now :::sniff::: too damn old and will be spending the rest of the day curled up in a ball in a corner somewhere, weeping softly and waiting for sweet, sweet death to take me away.

Who am I kidding? I'm too drunk to write much more than this. Woo-hoo! Happy Birthday to Me!

Actually, I've done a bit of reading about August 2nd. If you go by the annals of history it would appear that August 2nd is just ripe for war and death and destruction. I'm not quite sure if I'm supposed to work on changing that or just go with the flow. Changing it seems like too much work and I'm old and tired. Status quo it is then.

  • 1990 - Iraq invades Kuwait
  • 1985 - Delta Flight 191 crashes in Dallas, killing 137
  • 1980 - A bomb explodes at a train station in Italy, killing 85 and wounding more than 200
  • 1973 - A flash fire in the Isle of Man at the Summerland amusement park kills 51
  • 1968 - On the very day and very year that I was born, the Casiguran Earthquake strikes the Philippines and kills more than 270 and wounds 261. It's as if someone said to me, "Welcome to the world. You're going to die a violent and horrific death."

It only gets worse before 1968. More war. More troops. More death. It's a wonder half of us were even born at all, if you think about it. Oh, here are some other glorious highlights of this day:

  • Albert Einstein writes a letter to FDR in 1939 urging him to develop a nuclear weapon

  • The Marijuana Tax Act of 1937 passes, rendering marijuana illegal in the US (This really had no effect on me at all. Especially in college.)
  • Albert Einstein urges all scientists to refuse military work in 1931

  • The first US Census is conducted in 1790
  • And my personal favorite: In 1934, Adolf Hitler becomes Fuhrer of Germany. Ach!

Nice. No marijuana but plenty of Nazis on this day. Grand. There isn't really anyone all that interesting born on this day (other than myself and that's questionable. The interesting part, that is. I'm relatively sure I entered on the 2nd.) There are a few that...well...someone might know who they are, though. Maybe. With hints.

  • Mary-Louise Parker, born in 1964 (You know, the actress chick. She was in...um, well...oh! Weeds. There it is. Yeah, her.)

  • Wes Craven, born in 1939 (The director guy who makes creepy movies like Hellraiser.)

  • Carroll O'Connor, born in 1924 (Yes. Archie Bunker. Great.)

  • Lance Ito, born in 1950 (Judge Ito! From the OJ trial! Right on! At least it wasn't that crying Seidlin guy from the Anna Nicole custody hearings.)

That's who was born. Now, who died? (I swear, I better not be on this list.)

  • Warren G. Harding in 1923 (29th President of the US)

  • Shari Lewis in 1998 (The puppeteer who always had her hand up Lambchop's ass.)

  • Alexander Graham Bell in 1922 (Made us all want to reach out and touch someone. With or without a phone.)

  • Wild Bill Hickok in 1876 (Shot in the back of the head while playing poker. As an avid poker player, that's not overly comforting.)

Well, it's a pretty mello day for those being born or those croaking on this day. Not so mello for the death and destruction aspect of it all. But the rest? Fairly calm and boring.

Oh, and Happy 18th Birthday to my cousin, whose birthday also happens to be today. And Happy Birthday to Renee, because about 10 years ago, I told you that, since we had the same birthday, you'd always know that at least one other person was thinking about you on that day, even if you felt like no one gave a fat rat's ass. (Incidentally, I'll be doing the same thing.)

So let's see if I can go the rest of the day without adding to the list of death and destruction that occurs on this day. If this blog abruptly stops, you know that I was largely unsuccessful. Now...where's my beer?